I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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