He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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