? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
