We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
