i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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