therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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