went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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