def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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