she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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