And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
