just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just google imaged poop.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
