Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
