"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
