I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
