i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How external is "for external use only"?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
