3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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