Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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