dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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