I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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