For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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