Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's never too late to be topless.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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