I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
her vagine was all disorganized.
I've blown a few things in my day
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
