and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
