Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
