it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize