I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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