i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
