I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
