Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
