The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
