Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
