They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
