Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
