do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
