dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
