What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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