Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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