Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
