Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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