Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
