I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
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