Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
