She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
