love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
