The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
