Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
