I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize