So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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