Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
