for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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