She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So vagazzling was a success
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
