I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
