I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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