I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
