Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize