Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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