do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have aggressive nipples.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
