okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
