I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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