Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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