i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Who died my cat blue again?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
