So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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